Influencing the future you: finding your confidence
By Jo Irvine, career coach at NABS
As a career coach, people talk to Jo Irvine about developing their confidence all the time. They also talk about losing their confidence. Maybe there is a lost property office somewhere with a shelf holding little bundles of people’s precious confidence, looking out the window waiting to be claimed or given away to someone else.
So, what is really sitting on that lost property shelf? When did you last feel confident? And what was it that made you walk tall and feel you could do anything at that one moment, when it all just fitted into place? How did you lose it? And did you really lose it?
Let’s face it, not many of us can say we are confident all the time. Often our confidence can grow as we get older or gain more experience and find ways to learn and develop, but that is not always the case. Life often gets in the way.
"How then do we lose it? Circumstances will often contribute to how you feel and what you can do. If you break your leg you are unable to dance. If you go through a major personal experience it will take time for you to feel like yourself again and this includes feeling confident about who you are and what you can do."
We talk about finding our confidence. This expression seems to make sense, but it’s not just about finding a lost object hidden in the garden behind a tree, it’s about looking for it inside yourself. We’ve all felt confident about something at some time. Remembering what that is, how you achieved it, and how it made you feel important helps you to discover what you need to feel confident in yourself.
Ask yourself the question: “What am I really good at?” It’s difficult, but deep down there are some things you are really good at. Ask your friends and colleagues, tell them what they are good at and start to find that confidence together. It’s not just at work but very much important in your home life as well. Little things add up.
Don’t leave your confidence sitting on a shelf growing old. Strive to find it again.
Coaching can help you start to explore what you are good at and how you can be influential, confident and happy.